·' ... ! of 1 \ ' . . '( l . , . my  , I. , ,. -  a.k.a, -p.o.v. © 1990 J. Drucker HISTORY OF 1· ori~lnal sin 2. classical form ~:... ~ Fra~ments of a testimonial to history. some lived and realized moments open to claims of memory  n the Soft, fat, slow time takes its first breath following the i 1.  beginning was the world, nursed on the warm breast of chaos fast fol lowing a night of initial explosion, making light into a face swaddled in warmth and hard publicity. Genetics produced the fullness thereof and a new 1. Ideas take flight, fast and sloppy, winged with desire to make their swift way in the world, hiding their strike capacity in the secret moment of impact which rang in our ears as we ran away confused by that first big bang. 1. • The all-American dream girl: long-legged, blue-eyed, blonde and a huntress, a Dluse, the law and the word adored. letters. Our earth took us to heart and mind in the intellectual embrace of a cool companionship.  DDDDO D DDDD cosmology emerged as the ... flight from • • 2 • 3. S'ix days or seven a brother or two sisters, not pictured here, were the stars of the nuclear configuration, fractured and split in the familiar pattern and spreading to the cardinal points of of the psychic globe, raised in the old testament way, with InnOCence natural light, harsh, swift judgement, and stories, many many stories told over again against the text to dis\tuise and ~ distract our labor. locked them ~ out of the garden. Self a blocked off space of time, private allowance, childish hands marking a face organized as science. DELIGHT was unearthly in the early stages of undress. Knowledge was a hot routine to the primal primitives, 4. Grandfather one day from the sea and another in a bucket, tracking sand, one of ... our own most ancient relations, dense with history, his own, end the knowledge of .. others: so the shape of the headdress, stars and animals to find their way and satisfy the primitive ache of the human imagation.  original humans scattering their seed across Love was a questi()n asked nightlythe receding waters ofa 5. Testing procedures: maternal mode of reason calibrated the instruments with a mother's touch, measured out as law. new earth. to induce sleep, insoluble conundrums dropped 6. Cranking the machine, generating life forms, tears suspended: a miracle: we held the tricky devils in our hands until they fled seduced by the wind into believing they were moisture; only traces remained. bitter salt which we licked from the wounds of time. on the tongue or given like a gift through ears and lips to cheeks and skin. A WH0 LE string of father figures was displaced one by 2. First blow, the hand of god, by blow came skills so that we crept out of our holes armed with the new technology and ready to have it make the world for us.  byone, in a long list of names crossed out in a major struggle for survival. and formed the hard won figures into a name scrambling THE LAW 7. Travel to forei~n lands was recommended as a cure for ennui but writing, home was harder than they ima~ined with a lan~ua~e invented for business. and the whole nei~hborhood look came down the In~ on. The brother ~ave advice while the sisters filled up pa~es with what were Indecipherable forms. mountain & up our heritage dic • tatlng transgres the order on the soft linoleum and scattering the language underfoot. Literacy and intimacy collapsed in conversations stolen from routine Words came easy and letters worried off the walls * * * * * ** 8. Take aim little weapon of my heart and make the best possible t use of the tools and tar~ets of self-torture. * *  * 9. Persistence of memory, coaxed into view and ... flashing like a billboard advertisement for the virtues of rebellion against small town fundamentalism. * * * ~. At school they were put through their paces, and the first swift thrill cam.e from watching the man put his daughter on his knee and then out of sequence lightning strikes! Hand in glove, now abandoned, slipped into the pocket of repressed behavior, dressed up and then • Sions we were subject to perform. Suckling the calf until it turned golden exhausted their piety. Banished to the desert the chosen ones  spoke out on the empty air. schooled to understand resistance, inherent anger ground into the soul swallowing memories of tortured afternoons, athletic energy bound into. anklets curbing the instincts against the strict measure of hard rules. SNAKES and • partIng waters charmed them back into civili zation where writing began in their own name. Now language 11. Days in salt water and other clues dished up when the waters parted and then hun~ out to dry, beached debris from the summer's washed out memory turning, pink the hot atmosphere of re~ret. o" RUTIN 10. Fra~ments of the ori~inal memory comes in molecules like the one which reeches clear as breath with its tale of early success and easy Iivin~, a tale told by an idiot, si~nifyin~ crumbs left on the path to find their way home.  14. Makln~ way the sl~n of the passion -f1amin~ red DDDDDD:=J ft" t _ _1!i . . 1 . 11. Moses, In the fash ion of t h e day, testin~ the safe and sane means of enterin~ the waters from which he could work his own prefi~utatlon wh ile his brother refused to let him touch hot sand. colonized the whole Mediterranean and spread trade on its re ceipts. The cold north Pleasure was slight, sweet, and spasmodic, secret and unachieved. was still peopled by primitives rubbing themselves with blue to resemblethe cold. 13. Communications overreached the lon~ arm of absence takes its toll on the line and makes ~ood with the Increase of static waitin~ patiently in the service of t h e lord.  15. Everybody who was invited came, I think, but It was not my party and I cried waiting for the supper to redeem us from the awkward social situation WHOLE TRIBES became l involved in the naming of eleg, h t. t) ments as forces acting out w their own revenge in the quotidian mythology of humanoid actions. Cities sprang up and lent the goddesses a * * * untranslatable into the daylight speech of cle. * * * 16. Some lamb: Bittersweet and poignant memory, the sacrifice made as a ritual the night before death, real death.  17. Somebody had promised a * hu~e contribution but the food * ~ot cold and had to be sent back * to be reheated in the kitchen where the cat was eatin~ its way * throu~h the turkey headfirst. '. name for their towns. Ritual sacrifice foretold a future without Response was vetoed clapping a hand on the dream through the which we would have been inha bited by extra terrestrials. In thin clothes of sleep, squeezing the moment with inept attempts at a climax the wars Troy was trampled ech of clean vocabulary after the harsh taboo snapf-ed shut the door to understanding. * * * 18. Disciples without principles, thank ~od, sat throu~hout, side * by side their heads bobbln~ up and down on the waves of conversation they each felt just like the brother they n ever had. * * *  ,.. 19. There was talk of a barbeque and there were strenuous objections in some -hind -quarters. ~~ Writin~ returned from a trip and mapped 19. OODO 0 . .. . ..:' , ' .> ... " .......: . by a horse and lost while Alex climbed over the mountains and set his seal on the wide plains he surveyed with his gaze. There were still no trains. 20. This must be the Renaissance: we looked at the stars and I saw my face. I'm a pi~, I cried. My den, he said, the whole of the animal knl~dom has passed this way. I looked down and saw by the trail of footsteps that It was true. I looked a~ain and the' stars were marchln~ off to have their baths and we were all stuck on the ~round without them. * * : •  o DDDDODDDDD * Roads went in everywhere & tales of pyramids and pic 21. Heaven and earth feB to their organizin~ system, order broke out everywhere like a plague of conspicuous reason. ture language time in exotic the measured space of pages paid out like filtered thru the mails. Airwaves carried \t .c .t!~'. messages belore '~!.~~~) j~( the phones and lands where a place named Europe might have been a nation in the mind but got toured and recorded in an infantile essay colonizing the domain of the real. * * * * *  a virus of civility in 23. Search parties -the son with the sun with the mother to the ends of the known earth or at least the bay with tales of adventure too wild to sit well by vaded the land. A the domestic hearth. child born from light was hung up as a man Knowledge as language, the word of the mother, got passed through exchange linked hand to mouth. for meat and changed the course ofthe emotional mainstream. Allegiance became a Sudden expletives caught on the phone lines. 24. Chart sent out from the old country laid out the city before they landed on streets which Impressed the primal territory until they were Indistinguishable 22. Looking over his property and loving It: new worlds or at least new continents burst into view.  by 1. 25. Trying des perately to get the sewers Into place before the folks arrived they poked at the pipes with their sticks and sang sang sang . ... • hard rock of gospel spread through lions and into the arena of freeplayand phallacy. The last of the conquerors fell (rather 26, Primitive tool were used for games and eating dirt off the end of the blade in the process of squeezing ~~~ the earth between our teeth when the knife failed to penetrate the reluctant ground.  ages ofhumankind. Principles both human and ".@ divine solidified ~ 27. First first lady a real trend setter _ barked at the moon and back a~ain, all the way home in a cab and then -, checkin~ h er pursefor pennies they all fall out and are brou~ht into the • safe haven of her children's dreams. as an exerCIse · through which Mind was made . ..•.,. ~ Rich bejewelled Conversations heard from the floor playing audience to one-sided sequences of sound working communication out in the blanks between : * and fortified the * : * middle ages sent themselves to be '.' 28. The ima~e, not quite alikeness, used on a product line, came back to haunt her when she went out to :. : shop ami found herself buyin~ herself in a shockin~reco~nition, blind faith and brilliant li~ht, hot speed•• of heavy vo1ta~e. ~  I~I ". C~m."".on' ..... h" "''''on' .h. ~m."m" ~ ~ ~ applied far too much to match her fron tier mentality. be redeemed for prizes while the treasures of the earth emerged and followed a predestined path towards grace and the European capitals. phrases young sentences like birds took off in imitation of adult flight MONARCHS took domains by poisons into lengthy halls of overheard complexity 30. The civi1izln~ Influence of homesteadln~ was not to be discounted.  nuancin~ a dance of action into calculated speech flirtation a body lan~ua~e more than repartee and personality into realms where History, which began a bit later, whispered into their ears about the invention ofperspective, a necessary ingredient to 31. The gate to the alley had to be kept locked and they listened to ope.a after opera in the yard hoping to find a clue to their own Identity. raked us with a ruthless a  32. Technology was Improving all around them at a great pace; appliances mutated according to the genetic programs which centuries earlier had been the exclusive province of an all too fr"gile kingdom, '.' abrupt severity. IS T timely representation of the past. the wit served as a hook, no bones about the sharp-edged tongue REAL books were composed and typed out through the fin gers of bright boy apprentices on their knees before the glory of handmade 33. What was the make of this machine? An enemy sub so cleverly disguised, snuck through the curtain and began to perform -those clever devils.  tasks. A huge library burn2:~;::::: ed much of antiquity in its this UlUSt have been .nund••,nnn•. path, which was reinvented Domestic acts shifted to a violent expression, straining to hear from an upstairs landing the· by Italian ecstasy and then put into order by the Teutonic violence ofclassification. Whole continents rose children pressed to the walls with ears bared, bellies filled with harsh notes of judgement, 35. Outlaw funds fell into responsible hands, work was a legitimate excuse for not going out. and he paid his investments handsomely into his pockets, where they did not go to waste exactly.  A * * 37. After makln~ contact with the humans they be~an requlrln~ uniforms in all forel~n and hard-headed service. conflict mitigated by the secret notebooks. * *** *** T Up out of the seas and offered their exotic ::;:;::::';:re::';:;::.:":"::.7'~:w bodies fo r specula ti ve else could they deal with the contract under such circumstances. • ••InvestIgatIon. tiny writing attempting to escape detection, detailed narratives of orphan melodramas, tragic plights The NEW WORLD kept its shining promise to provide a regular source of income *.... **..  Playthings bothered to com 38. Moses and his brother were not among the guests that afternoon, still, we dredged the bay for bright, tiny fish and brought up puffers white like pearls. bellies glistening in the net, inflated promises which dissolved under scrutiny into taxonomy_ while ancient cultures could only hold their breath so long against the inroads ofhomogenlzlng commerce. stl giving in to instincts by response to force, the 39. Summer sun and ritual activities performed in the dunes without end or warning, dreaming of a primordial swamp full of treasures from which we had sprung, unlabelled, onto the w.t and shiny surface of (he mudflat.  * * * * * * * l to come looking for engagement.". )ng dged , ht ~ 1 hich '. 40. Science made our minds into a conversatioD9 scene of a microscopic partnership, a binary arranltement stuck to specimens with pine and gum trapping air and information in the same bubbles the eye pretended to know. 41. The uncles rode with Jesse James and made a legend in her body which was athletic form restrained beneath the good behavior of maiden aunts intolerant of adventure or imagination. A TINY ROCK was doormat to a continent and on the pretext of religion a clearing was hacked out of the .. children boarded into schools with unforgiving mistresses and strict orderings of the day into a regime of yearned for discipline, the beating craven as submission, being taken, hard reprimand * * * * * * * structures of obedience wild woods for a meal and several centuries' expansion. At the instant of independence 11111111111111111111111 ., nm. ok•• U. m••••" ..d ,,'.m.Om 0."" ".m,'" '"' d..~U  ... ... *... ... * 43. A small group of volunteers, still in their boxes, swallowed the secret formula to keep it from enemy hands. vestments which took up their banquet of imperialism with the angular momentum of a manifest destiny. fhe feminine was dominant eclipsing the satellite into early irre THE OLD WORLD settled 44. From behind enemy lines there were mysterious telecommunications; we listened in on the upstairs line while she told one cryptic story after another. the stuff of dreams to clog the childhood senses, thrilling the prepubescent limbs with unspeakable urges.  * * * * Long leisured afternoons turning the book into pages of delight, vicariously thrilled by the paperback lives into unarticulatable drives and desires. ", .':',; 10/1. ~-1/. 45. 45. Pods, ciphers and other mysterious devices found their way into the bloodstream of modern life and proved themselves as promised in those lessons learnt at the knee and poured down our ears like ~ospel ly 1 irrelevant otherness, rendered useless, secondary in the constant search for small print and thin paper into familiar squabbles, decapitating its lineage and making way for the trains that were to be. Frozen wastes deterred yet another hero, keeping the whole  46. Later we learned to eat our words and pretend to enjoy them, but in wartime the men in the subs had to be content with what looked conspicuously like salad. from his grasp until he was also banished to languish while the rest of the world whose history is unwritten D for a heroine densely trapped in plots and vapors which meant destiny playing itself out through :lf here and elsewhere developed apace apart. D Fainting spells conjured empty houses full of secret passages and spells played out as rituals in * * ... * * * tl  ft' pARALLEL lives, dark colonies and lighthouses combin 47. These birds used to get messages and even a little entertaining gossip across the trenches, tucking the best bits of gossip up under their wings before letting It fly. ed in labor and abuse, the too Sweet sugar of fiction sucked the brain into romantic poses postures gathered from tales in which one figured oneself * * * powerful dynamic of intimate relations. ' one who was her who was I is I. * * >ugh 48. Elected officials came to depend in the long twisted afternoon. more and more on luck and table manners. * * *  Childhood pacts swept away the cobwebs of correct behavior, opening pockets of time out of 50. Even the primitives had ~otten bobbed hair and wore nothln~ next to the " skin but spandex stretched from limb to limb accoss a ~ap In the or~anlzed domain of knowled~e. si~ ONE CIVIL WAR 49, Fetish commodity the realities here were u n speakable but had somethln~ to do with broke out a rash of dancln~. conflicts while the onto the receptive surface of the skin and also marked by scars of pleasure stolen as pain in private lives whose witnesses were bound and gagged to remain immutably machines bred for the business took over everywhere in the landsc~pe and on film. 51. Not all of us had fun that afternoon and left behind she cleaned up In the manner of role IIlodels provided and with batteries included for complicit and anonymous. once.  t of sight and mind which precipitated into verse and rhyme intime. * * 52. Which contains a camera, a machine * * ~un, a recording device, an electronic * * bu~. and a season premiere ticket-all* without benefit of fin~erprints. * CITIES SPOKE to the face of the factories which dominated the metaphoric skyline with the blue and hopeless smoke of indus trial dreams. Little children ~ * . * ., 53. Makin~ do his beard was a little rou~her than usual as he bent to chan~e the an~le of chin to a~ile blade. * *  T suffered to come unto the heavy heat of labor and finally the trains came, stark track on the back of a con • tlnent. The adolescent juices mauled the intellect stealing its baggage and corrupting the soul of willingness into ~ '" '" '" '" '" '" '" '" '" '" '" '" '" '" '" '" '" * . '" '" '" * DISENFRANCHISEMENT followed naturally from the politesse of exploitation while a * refracting itself hormonally each fracture finding a cracked voice * '.' thro mod :.: .. ... and 54, After the accident a famous man cannot show his face and so takes up other means of confronting the world . ~ ~ *  D D [J D ~"] D D DOD 55. And so the aliens planted their own machines and made them grow sending little messages like valentines and a few got loose and went into space and landed back on the dinner table and would not behave. 55. 56, The tack squad had to restore order any way it could -it was clear the enemy was playing hardball with our hearts and minds. whole generation call ;ness into a dark passage ing themselves bene * factors concocted * * * stable seeming institutions to cast their own ~: •• names in the shadow ~ through which to make a mask of passion mocked by the inept handling of the SEnses and vocabulary in a fabricated agony. 57. What was wiped off her face and came back to haunt her unmercifully with a gaping rush.  58. Dumb cliche but there was a close transit throu~h the sky so It loomed like a dinner plate deceptively lar~e and inordinately beautiful. of hard cut stone before their passing. Suited, seated male busts replaced the conquering heros at the edges of the farmland. Calling in cliches to aid in their development the stories progressed precipitously. COST OF LIVING rose into the air to be • W~ b, sa af ,.. 59. Crowned heads of state, humbled by events In the heavens, 60. Birthplace of a nation sprin~in~ up ready-made memorabilia just in the nick of time to fill the politick cate~orl' of ~enerlc childhood home. crept into place In the haystacks of history.  61. 62. Captains of industry. exemplars of value. civic lunches in the best tradition. Pairin~ was obsessional as writin~ was tracks traces locked in drawers to which the key had been abandoned. .. I I .~ • ••. transformed into a .. .•. broadcast image. N ow ~ was the time for some serIOUS war mOVIes, blinding the trenches ~~s~O~~~Sg:;:,~:;:e':°f:i:s~i::I:~. andburnt at both ends and the stake for the sake of actual sacrifice but wasn't it WI-th Serl-OUS eXpIOSI-ves after all too late? ~ ~ s s .•. while an entire genera. ... tion was sold to the .. ... ~ * ~.; 61. The red s un shone in the full fat belly of the whale. lDaking its ~:; way against all odds.  65. Free dancln~ lessons became standard public policy-here demonstrated by an obli~in~ member of the board. Long enough to fly many devious messages into the soul and back Science threatened to take over with its rote mythologies and nothing broke but narrative of horror. A deep slump follow ed the quick drunk of eu phoria and the proverbial bal loon of finance . .. burst and was thrown from a window by 64. Into the mouth of the monster they went, intrepid, as the quiverin~ membrane vibrated against their touch, inhaled as so much dust into the very nostrils of the ventilation shaft and wonderin~ what dreams they had bou~ht into.  the heavy hand of publicity. , " but hearts in a dialogue encapsulated in a past which hid it from the mother ship. ~ SAINTS & GENIUSES, leaders and rebellions, were all quietly allowed to come 67. Frozen assets, a hunk of mammoth, which was hidden, the deep freeze of mind, resistant to thaw and temptation. -i~oooooooo..o.oj l.oovoooo....oo .:; Ie ...........' '.:,. \, 66, The mysterious forces of the universe clouded our limited understandin g. into their own and go back out again. A totalizing pull toward fantasy mobilized the 68. The Inevitable course of history all in those few sentences, emblems, and primal codes, a fine matter of private memory, dripping its grey instincts onto the page.  ... * * Writin~ was still reli~ious, practiced late with candles and incantations unedited for later reference 69. Avery po~ular mid-century jello mold, trembhng on the edge of some discovery· troops again while style became the distinguishing feature of the genocidal regime. and developin~ revery. When speakin~ ceased the notebooks fi led with seepage, horror spreadin~ inw in an all too comforta 7! ble relation to the audience while the media BARBED WIRE crackled against flesh 70. The season instituted once and for all to set the pace of sales events and keep up with changes of fashion hanging in the air around the capital. DDDDDD DC  I. . Once the stepsisters left theball our friend came Into focus and action, making her way In the world. * * * * * voted the smiling fascists into place re-! '.' peatedly and all the I 72. Plankton, here enlarged many times actual size, forge a link in the food chain with their characteristic geometry, '.. rest of history sank ~ * back into the reper-: inward. toire of late night reruns and creationist fast forward replays of the news 75, All the memory of the world. 73. Mermaid lovers objecting to military service were to be refused shore leave repeatedly until they learned the words to all the songs. ID DDDDDDDDDDDDD 74. The gospel according to -a religious order, known for Its reticence, vow of silence, and difficulty breathing.  DDDDDDDDDDDDD manufactured as the day's events. Women were returned to fami " .M".'oo"h••• h ..~.'.U=.." liar bondage and we balanced on the ed~e of the universe _o.'n••n"~."'..oohU.'on. ate meat instead of fresh air in the spirit of • corporate enterprIse without returns on our until the drug release brought words to surface as displacement, opaque, hermetic, arcane and sealed against the cops and robbers game of understanding. While love was a 77. The heart of the mechanism, the soul of a new machine howlin~ in the wilderness in order to be heard. mon 78. out  79. The order they had placed almost without thinking mocked them with its familiar face and tone. Dark were the days and li~ht was a beacon companion overflowin~ all boundaries, SO. Hovering auras haloed their heads and thestateof grace was not entered Into without passing through the border patrol and making sure they were in the right place in their reading. But when they looked in the book - investments while our sparkling earth risks being lost along with all the other forms of innocence consumed in the history ofthis world. monster out of place and words were bound and determined makin~ their impression by proxy as exchan~e. 7S. A drug king pin, doubling as a teammate out of his league and into ours.  .. Now taking my tongue back into my lap. * '" '" * * * * * '" In fond and profound memory of my mother. At the Bow and Arrow Press, Adams House, Harvard University. Summer 1989 through late Spring 1990. In Caslon on Warren's Lustra dull. Many thanks to Gino Lee and Charles Steele. Of 70 copies this is :::2-~ c/~U~ DRUCKWERK 0000000000000  / I - -, /r-,