English majors

Being a Wiki Poster, As Told By ‘The Simpsons’

“No TV and No Beer Make Homer Something Something.”

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, [...] it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us," Charles Dickens once said of being a wiki poster.

If you’ve decided to write wiki posts (and join the elite group of intellectuals like Witchybitchy and Socalnewyorker who are also wiki posters), you’re a brace soul. Obscure wiki posts will become inevitable. Being the go-to authority on anything wiki-related will become the norm. Misuse of “internal links” and “external links” will, sadly, become a pet peeve you’ll never admit you have (guys, it really doesn’t matter that much). Sure, you may be stuck doing freelance wiki-posting for the rest of your life, but wiki-posting might be one of the most rewarding things you’ll ever do. So if you’re in it for the long haul (and you’re a Simpsons fan), this list is for you.

  1. You know how to create your own pages now just with these “[[ ]]” symbols! Good for you! [1]

  2. You are extremely frustrated that you can’t seem to embed images or gifs in the actual wiki page. [2]

  3. People always question what you’re doing with your life. [3]

  4. When you run out of ideas, you hide in the shadows and look through other people’s wiki posts for inspiration. [4]

  5. Normal writing has you like: [5]

  6. You occasionally run out of things to say before reaching the word minimum and just BS your way through it. [6]

  7. You sometimes feel proud of yourself for coming up with something creative and original. [7]

  8. Then you realize someone else came up with the same or a similar idea before you. [8]

  9. You sometimes forget to write the wiki post earlier and now only have an hour before the deadline. [9]

  10. When writing wiki posts, your mind wanders off-topic when you become bored and you get frustrated with 
  yourself for procrastinating. [10]

  11. You come up with a cool, original idea and then realize that the wiki format won’t allow you to follow through with it. [11]

  12. Your work as a wiki poster often feels under-appreciated by the literary community at large. [12]

  13. You are tempted to convince others to join you as a wiki poster and thus have them suffer with you. [13]

  14. You sometimes just write complete nonsense and challenge your peers to actually find any meaning in it. [14]

  15. In the end, however, you’ll look back on all your works as a wiki poster and be glad that you did it because 
   of how you got to express yourself creatively and have some fun week-to-week. [15]

~ Ultimate Sith Lord

the pain and frustration of life